she was my daughter

 

the story

i'm about to tell you has never been

discussed outside my immediate family

all of this took place in a matter of

minutes

i'll go into exact details so that you

can decide for yourself

what really happened that night

finally settled into bed i fall asleep

the moment my head hit the pillow

i was catching an early flight in the am

for business

suddenly i hear our eight-year-old

daughter ruby

running down the hall rounding the

corner that enters our bedroom

not tonight ruby

it's like she has a built-in alarm

system that goes off

every time i have a business trip

my husband tom and i are no stranger to

this drill

she always stands a few feet from my

side of the bed

and whispers i don't feel good mommy

she does not want to wake up her dad who

has to see patients in the morning

and is quick to debunk ruby's plans to

stay home from school

exhausted i go into mom mode

and recite the ailment list

okay ruby is it your head

is it your tummy

are you hot

are you cold no answer

i force myself to sit up now and glance

at my alarm

it's 3 45 am

i do not turn on the light although in

reality

my husband could sleep through a tornado

ruby you need to answer me what

hurts

okay ruby come with me i'll take you

back to bed

i put my hand out to ruby now

seeing her small outline in the dark

only something's not right

although my room is dark

the child in front of me was so much

darker

than the actual room

she's the same height as ruby

she's wearing the same red pajamas i

helped ruby into

at bedtime

 

her arms and legs look like

thin spindles

i can't turn away from her hollowed-out

eyes

she seems to be looking nowhere

is this a friend ruby took home or a

child who somehow wandered into our home

keeping my eyes on her i try to reach

for my husband

i need to shake him awake but he is at

the very edge of our king-sized bed

and i can't reach him without moving

completely from my spot

and i can't bring myself to move an inch

tom wake up

tom please wake up

someone is in our house tom

wake up

the child is perfectly still

and now looking directly at me

i lean forward to examine her more

closely

to my horror i realize

this is no child

 

walking side to side on its long thin

feet while grinning

it kept making a cuttle sound

followed by a child's soft cry

that sounded exactly like ruby

i'm trembling but my rational brain

tells me

it has to be a dream a lucid nightmare

but how can i be dreaming

if i'm sitting up

i can read the time on my clock

i see my nightstand i touch my face

my eyes they are open

i have no doubt i'm awake

 

ah

what the heck are you two screaming

about

i'm trying to sleep in case you forgot

tom immediately understood i was

distraught

mommy had a bad dream you know what

that's like sweetie

mommy's being a big cry baby

i heard ruby giggling and knew she would

be okay

although i was horrified that i had

woken my family in this disturbing way

calm down michelle you're hysterical

tom something was really in our bedroom

i thought it was ruby but it was

something terrible

not human michelle

it was a bad dream

tom i know you can't fathom this

but i'm telling you something evil was

in this room

physically standing here right next to

our bed stand

mimicking ruby

i told you it was too soon to return to

work the effects of the medication don't

vanish overnight

many patients recovering from brain

surgery have terrible hallucinations

think of it as your brain rewiring

healing itself please tom

i was not dreaming i need you to believe

me please

honey i understand it was a frightening

realistic dream but it was

just a dream yeah but

michelle you're going to cancel your

business trip

it's obviously too stressful your work

can

wait all that matters is that you are

healthy and happy

you're ruby's mother she is our first

priority you are her safe place you

cannot continue to scare her with all of

this

ruby was so upset while you were in the

hospital

please let's not add to it why don't i

take ruby to her grannies tomorrow

so she can spend a few days with her

you'll get more time to rest without

having to worry about

waking up for ruby during the night

let's get some sleep now i know tom is

right

he has always been my voice of reason

no malice no dishonesty

it's simply his need to fix things

to find solutions it's how he's wired

and it is why i love him

the next night when i was resting in my

bed

tom came in the room to tell me

something

honey i'll be home late tonight after

dropping ruby to her grannies i'll be

heading to our staff party

remember i mentioned it to you last week

um sorry tom i really can't remember

it's okay honey please don't worry about

staying up for me

i'll quietly slip in the covers when i'm

back you take

proper rest tonight okay did you take

your pills

i can't remember maybe i did

tom i don't think i did

there you go honey you know these are

very important for your fast recovery

good night honey sleep tight

 

mommy wake up

mommy mommy

wake up

what happened ruby

mommy i don't

feel so good

that's when i realized

this can't be ruby she's gone to her

grannies

it was the same horrific

evil child it wasn't my daughter

you aren't ruby ruby's gone to her

grannies who are you

mommy i'm ruby

i couldn't go to grannies because i

wasn't feeling well

no you're lying

my husband took her to her grannies

mommy i'm ruby

mommy i'm ruby i'm ruby mommy

i'm ruby stop pretending to be my

daughter

you're not ruby you're not ruby

oh no no

oh no ruby

god damn it michelle

you killed our daughter

mommy mommy you

psycho

 

did you pack everything sweetheart daddy

i don't feel very well my stomach hurts

a bit

maybe it's not a good idea to go to your

grannies tonight sweetheart

get some rest we'll go tomorrow or

another time when you feel better

ah but please don't wake up

your mother she hasn't been feeling very

well

and needs rest i have to leave now i'm

getting late

good night sweetheart good night daddy